Dear World,

Life is so good for me right now.  19 is where I should stay permanently.  With that being said, I really am looking forward to Thanksgiving break.  I think I need some time to myself.  REAL alone time.  You don’t get that in college at all.  I’m looking forward to a weekend of soberness and cuddling with my cats and watching movies and taking long drives to nowhere.

I think I need a good hike on a crisp day.  Some sharp air to fill my lungs and clear my mind.  I’ve been caught up in the good life that I’ve forgotten the basics of life.

Something I need to remember is that I’m on this adventure with everyone else, but only I will be there for the entirety of my own.  I have to love myself before anyone else.  Not selfish, just aware.  I haven’t given myself enough time to face the facts that a guy that interests me fully has a girl.  They may not be official by any terms, but he has someone and that someone is not me.  I need to focus on me.  I can be sad about the situation, but I can also have fun.  And just because another guy may be interested in me doesn’t mean that I have to be interested back even if he is tall and handsome and adorable.

Again, I am my own constant companion, I mine as well go with my gut.

Sincerely,

Shea

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Dear World,

My Poppop passed away on October 11, 2011. There was a beautiful ceremony for him on November 10th, a year to the day after Casey’s wake, and a day before Casey’s funeral. It’s been tough, no doubt. Death is something I am still coming to terms with and it has been a rough ride.

However I will remember him for the beautiful, quiet, amazing man that he was. I don’t know what I believe in, but I know that he has to be doing something beautiful.

School has been good, the weekends are amazing, and my classes are crazy/busy/hectic/rewarding. I have had lots going on and still lots to do, but I am managing and succeeding. I’m looking forward to Thanksgiving break, but not as much as last year. I love it here a lot now. I’ve found myself. I know who I am and what I am capable of. It’s beautiful.

I’ve also decided I will be studying abroad in Dublin, Ireland. It’s where I belong. I am so excited to make this happen.

Remember that boy from the previous post? I think you know what I am going to say. Yeah, it’s a no go ladies and gents. He has “a girl” or something of the sort. He missed his chance. I’m not better, we are friends. I may still be attracted to him but I am better than that. Also there is a new boy? I’m not boy crazy, I promise, I’m still good old cat lady. He’s just interesting and tall and we’ve kissed and I slept in his bed but nothing happened I assure you… god I hope no one can read this.

Who knows? I mean I’m marrying an Irish lad after all…

Life is beautiful, I am evolving, changing, breathing, loving,

Sincerely,
Shea