Pretend I was queen

December 24, 2009

Dear World,

A lot has happened in the past week or so.  When I say a lot I mean  A WHOLE HECK OF A LOT.  However, even though I’ve told someone to never speak to me again for the first time in my life (ahem huge ego boy), and I didn’t receive the part I wanted in a play for the first time in my life, and I HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED INTO ONE OF MY TOP CHOICE COLLEGES!- the only real important news is that my dog Tucker had to be put down tonight because of his constant seizures.  He wasn’t even 6 years old yet.  I love him, I miss him, and just thinking about it is making me cry.  I’m going to miss his tennis balls all over the place and his beautiful face waking me up in the morning.  I know this sounds super cliche, but I can’t remember the last thing I said to him.  Now I am constantly going over all the times I shooed him away or yelled at him for eating something he shouldn’t have been.  I miss my little manny, I miss his cute paws and his pink little nose and the smart border collie that he was.  There is never enough time, ever.

When you lose something you love, nothing else really matters.  I may have lost a friend, but he was never worth it.  You should have seen the texts he sent me.  He couldn’t even talk to me face to face.  I’ve never had an enemy, but he is surely the first person I have probably shown my rudest side to.  Yet, none of this matters, Tucker is gone, and he is in heaven, and he in the only thing that occupies my thoughts.

College is in my immediate future, that I can say 100% surely.  It’s perfect because it is in Boston, and it’s the city I’ve fallen in love with.  Yet, even this is hard to be excited about, because my baby is gone.




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