Dear World,

You know when a day just feels productive?  Today is definitely one of those days.  I had soccer pictures, soccer practice, and then as a team we cleaned up the locker rooms until they were spotless.  This year is going to be exciting.  The school as well as everyone in it has  anew attitude and a new approach to everything.  It’s the school’s 40th year, and there are so many changes.  New bleachers, new rooms, new everything.  People need to start taking pride in our school, it’s full of amazing people and great opportunities.  Go Mustangs!

Oh, and um, amidst this day of productivity I saw Him.  You know the one I ranted about in a previous post?  Yeah that one.  It has been since the end of school (two and a half months) since I have seen him and guess what?  He stills takes my breath away.  Ignore that if it make you ill.  I am not one of THOSE girls don’t worry.  I’m just a girl, with a heart who won’t agree with her head sometimes.  Still, who knows what a year could do…

Sincerely,

Shea

P.S.  Not to be a creeper or anything but he plays golf this year instead of football.  He looks so handsome in his golf attire.  SWOON.

Dear World,

It’s only about 1:30 and it’s already been one of the hardest days of my life.  Today I had to say goodbye to three of my closest friends as they head off to college and leave me for my last year of high school.

The day started out with all of us going to breakfast.  It was fun and we made awkward sex jokes and crude remarks about randomness as we always do.  We then went to target so that one of my friends could get some things for her dorm and we just acted like kids- as we see our innocence and childhood slowly looming behind us in our self rear view mirrors.  We then went back to Hannaford ( a grocery store) where all of our cars were and the intention was to say goodbye.  Instead we wandered around aimlessly in the store for a good half hour, decided on buying a cheese cake and ate it together while sitting on tar in the in parking lot.  We decided to make it a tradition every time they come home, and we sat and reminisced about time and how it all seems to slip away right before your eyes.

When it was time to say goodbye there were more tears shed than I would have thought.  Even thinking about it now gets me all emotional.  These girls have been like my big sisters for my entire life, and one girl in particular is basically like family to me.  It’s weird knowing I won’t see them again until Thanksgiving.  Halloween will definitely not be the same this year, and school dances will feel so wrong.  I miss my ladies already and it’s only been about 25 minutes…

Sincerely,

Shea

P.S. Also, an acquaintance of mine had the tragedy of her mother dying the other say.  Her mother was so sweet and worked at said grocery store.  The girl is just an acquaintance, but I sympathize for her so much.  She’s my age, and I can’t imagine loosing a parent at this young age.  Rest In Peace.

Dear World,

I have a lot on my mind… I think this is the perfect place to get it all out.  After all, this has been my source of ventation (yes I just made this word up) for the past, oh, eleven months give or take a few days.

First, as of Friday a handful of my closets friends are leaving for college.  We have been ‘the clique (though I hate that term and prefer ‘sisterhood’) for a long time now.  As horrible as this sounds, and I really shouldn’t be saying this, I am really only going to miss one of them terribly.  She has been like my big sister since I was born, originating as my next door neighbor before she moved ten minutes away.  As sad and inevitable as it is, I have grown apart from the rest of them this summer.  They either are preoccupied with work, a boyfriend or are hanging on to the hope that their ‘love’ will visit her in college, though he doesn’t actually exist in the real world… ahem.  However, it is important to note that the one girl that I am going to deeply miss (and her sister my best friend who is a year younger than I) are still as strong as ever, and saying goodbye is not going to be easy.  We are having a goodbye breakfast Thursday morning, and it will be interesting to see if anyone us hold it together.

That’s one thing off my chest…

Ok, so here goes the next part.  First off, the things that I write in this blog are seen my few and known my even fewer.  No one I know in real life knows about this blog, and I am keeping my fingers crossed that it will remain that way (you always take a chance with the internet).  So, romantically, I am hopeless and I have come to terms with this a long time ago.  In fact, when I was a freshman I ‘declared my independence’ and have ever since been clear of boyfriends or anything of the sort.  However, and this is going to sound pathetic, I have had a ‘crush’ on the same guy for a year and a half.  I use the term ‘crush’ loosely because he has yet to do that to me.  Though, I suppose this would be impossible considering we haven’t spoken more to each other than a simple ‘thank you’ on my part when held the door open for me.  This sounds sad right?  It’s really hard to explain, but I know he sees something in me.  I know what you’re asking, “Oh and how would you know this if you haven’t even said two, well three words to the guy?”.  I’ll tell you.  It’s all about the eye contact.  Don’t laugh!  I swear!  We always make eye contact and it’s more than the two second passing by eye contact.  It’s a ‘held for at least four seconds, a smile/smirk/adorable grin and then a shy looking down movement (this is all on his part).  Mine is sort of the same mouth action with more of a swoon/blush and then a shy look towards one of my friends as if I am so enthralled in our conversation.  ANYWAY, there is another girl that likes him.  She is exactly like me.  Ok, that’s impossible, but she’s smart, a great student, wants to be a neuroscientist… UM THE COMPARISON IS FOR THE MOST PART UNCANNY!  Here’s the deal, I have received information from her best friend, and a close friend of mine that she has liked him since the seventh grade and will do ANYTHING to get him.  My thinking?  Well, he has had four years to make a move on her and hasn’t so I have hope right?  As horrible as this sounds, it is what goes through my head.  Another dilemma?  They are both juniors, I am a senior, and therefor have one more year at this school and then it is off to venture into the world that I am no doubt going to travel, explore and see regardless of who I am with or where I go.

That felt good.  My best friend got to hear all of this last night, and I suppose getting it all down on virtual paper just sets my heart’s words in stone.  This is dangerous for me.  I don’t let the secrets of my heart open.  I am very much an independent person who laughs at teenagers ‘in love’.  No all this mocking is back to haunt me.  No, I am not in love!  I’m just saying…

Sincerely,

Shea

P.S.  This guy is athletic, shy, tall, dark and handsome.  Think Jake Gyllenhaal.  SWOON.

Dear World,

Today has consisted thus far of going to the new Wal* Mart with my mom and getting a cart full of healthy food and cute gladiators in yellow that I HAD to have.  I’ve always been a healthy eater, and am on a major health kick for soccer.  (I am usually against Wal* Mart as it has taken over local businesses and I hate the thought of “stuff” and all that we as the human race consume, but this new one uses solar panels and a clear ceiling for eating and lighting, so I’m ok with it).

I have also decided on my outfit for senior pictures and am now on my bed watching Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs.

I had a soccer tournament for EIGHT hours yesterday, I’m tired, I deserve this!

Sincerely,

Shea

Love is what I got

August 20, 2009

Dear World,

Double sessions of soccer is basically taking over my life right now.  I really wouldn’t have it any other way…

Sincerely,

Shea

Dear World,

I just got back from a four day camping trip with my family and my best friend’s family.  Every year we go to the same campsite as is tradition, but this year we went to a new one.  It was beautiful and we had a straight shot view of the lake so we could watch the sun rise and set over it.  However, it didn’t feel like home and there wasn’t much to do.  Luckily it was located right near a cute little town that has lots to do on the water as well as ice cream shops ans restaurants.

I spent a good portion of one of the days kayaking on the lake.  It was bliss.  It was a perfect change of pace, and reminded me why I love the outdoors.  Of course we kicked it old school and slept in a tent (my best friend has a camper but the adults stayed in it) and my best friend’s sister (who is also one of my best friends) brought her boyfriend along so some nights she stayed in his tent…ahem.

All in all, I love camping and would suffocate if I didn’t do it at least once a year.  I wouldn’t enjoy being a seasonal like some people, but I like not taking showers for three days (don’t judge) and being as far away from a computer and cell phone as humanly possible.

Tomorrow is the start of soccer preseason, so if I survive, I’ll blog again soon.  Just kidding, I, unlike some, actually worked out over the summer.  Ok, au revoir!

Sincerely,

Shea

Dear World,

Yesterday I took a campus tour of Brown University, and I am, to say the least, in love.  It is exactly what a college campus/experience should be.  The acceptance rate is low, but I’m giving it all I’ve got.

In other slightly less important news, my friend and I saw The Orphan tonight, and… IT WAS SO GOOD!  I am rarely ever impressed by horror films, but this was scared me and thrilled me all at once!  Five stars from this critic!

I’m going family camping soon with my family and my best friend’s family.  It’s tradition, and I amp pretty sure it’s what keeps me sane!

Sincerely,

Shea

Dear World,
I now have two enormous, beautiful bumps/bruises on either leg. I’ll rewind a bit.

So today my friends Liz, Greg, Joe and I decided to go to the mall. After the mall we decided to go to the Old Port which is the ‘hip’ part of the city with shops and the ocean, etc. Then we randomly caught a ferry to Peak’s Island and rented bicycles and biked the entire island. It was gorgeous and riding by as the sun beamed down on the crystal waters was the true kodak moment of summer. Then, when we went to get back onto the ferry to get back to the Old Port, I tripped going up the steps, and now have two HUGE bumps on both legs, and preseason starts in less than 10 days. I am not complaining because the day was perfect, but…

Oh, we also stopped by a farm called Smiling Hill Farm. I have so many childhood memories of going there and feeding the goats and cows and buying their infamous chocolate milk and feeding the ducks out on the picture perfect pond. It was a day well spent that’s for sure, even if I know have four knees…

Sincerely,
Shea

Dear World,
So I have come to the conclusion that the cleanliness state in which my room is in can be reflected from my mood. For the most part, it is very neat, very orderly. However, for the past few days it has been rather chaotic-not messy, chaotic. There is a difference! Lately I have been just on the go, doing whatever, going where ever the wind blows, and my room is a reflection. It’s kind of fun to see the difference stages it goes through.

There, I have now blogged about my room, this was probably the most fascinating on yet, eh?

Sincerely,
Shea

Dear World,
I think I’ve realized why I really don’t see the appeal to modern day relationships- chivalry, for the most part, is dead. I know there are gentlemen out there, and it’s not like I’m looking for someone to hold the door for me or pull out my chair, I just wish the whole genuine appeal men used to have is long gone, and it’s kind of sad. I know that no matter what, guys will be guys, and that even the Mr. Darcy’s of their days would think of a woman in ways that would make someone blush, but they were so gentle and so poised and almost standoff-ish, something I apparently like. Jane Austen created a world of almost forbidden love, something that has drawn me in so deeply.

Aside from that, I had a long phone conversation with a good friend of mine today. I never really talk on the phone- I just don’t like it, but we had a nice long conversation about summer, and how it has changed from last summer (we both have the same summer hangout and last summer met that SOMEONE and his brother, whom she had a thing with). We understand each other, and it’s good to have someone to rant to. Obviously my best friend Sara, is always there, she gets me even when I don’t make sense, but we don’t really do the phone thing, we like face to face talks more, the good old heart-to-hearts.

Sincerely,
Shea